Jasper's Stupefaction

Pitiful Jack, sometimes he truly does amaze me. I mean, is he kidding? Of course I knew what he was doing under the blanket. If he hadn't been doing something I would have ended my story, turned out the lights and told my precious nephew goodnight.

Same goes for this upcoming radio project he's finagled me into trying. Jack's an ideal gauge -- if his response to what I'm talking is flaccid, I know it's time to switch topics, and not to boast, but as of this date I have never once switched topics.

All right, with less than 24 hours to go before broadcast #1, I need to address a question received by email regarding the Jasper McCutcheon show page at BlogTalkRadio here:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/jaspermccutcheon

Because our content is for ADULTS ONLY, our page will not show any scheduled, upcoming programs until you have registered at BlogTalkRadio. For the general public, which can include under-age pipsqueaks, the page will say "No Programs Scheduled."

Trust me, our first program IS scheduled for Oct. 1 at 12:30 am Central U.S. time, and you will see it once you've registered at BlogTalkRadio with username and password. Nothing invasive or time-consuming about it. Sign up as a listener and you'll be set. That way you can also enter the Jasper chat room and finger-converse with others while I flap my tongue on the air. Also, for final clarity on the broadcast time in U.S. time zones:

Thursday, 12:30 am Central (Oct. 1) is...

Thursday, 01:30 am Eastern (Oct. 1)

Wednesday, 11:30 pm Rocky Mountain (Sept. 30)

Wednesday, 10:30 pm Pacific (Sept. 30)

More later if I think of something. Meanwhile, I plan to enjoy myself. Jack might be in for some big surprises, especially if he shows up with a shot glass instead of a tumbler for this bourbon he has supposedly purchased for me. Don't be alarmed if the first thing you hear on-air is the smashing of glass against whatever object I can bean with my fast ball, which hopefully will not be Jack.

Yours truly,
Jasper McCutcheon

Jack's Warning

Hello, everybody, and welcome to Uncle Jasper's Five-fingered Bedtime Stories. This is your announcer, Jack, announcing by blog because I'm the announcer and it's my duty to announce that I have coerced Jasper into talking live on internet radio.

It is a risky proposition. Frankly, sometimes he frightens me, but at the same time his stories seem to animate my hand into movement toward areas over which I have no control. The good news is you won't have to be in the same room with him, but still, perhaps an explanation is in order.

When I was a young man, my Uncle Jasper would sometimes come visit my parents, and when he did, he'd usually tuck me in at night and tell me a story. His tales always made me do things under my blanket. Does that sound gay? Well, cancel the thought. Most of his stories involved the two ladies living next door in the duplex they shared. As for what I was doing under my covers, I don't know if Jasper realized what was happening, but doubt that he cared one way or the other, then or now.

Why internet radio? Because I want to share my Uncle Jasper with whoever cares to listen. I've made a list of stories I want him to tell and will write scripts for him to follow, and to seal the deal, I've purchased a case of bourbon which will be my bait to assure he shows up every week for the broadcast. One fifth at a time until they're all gone, which should get us into November. Ha! November of 2012.

We begin October 1, Thursday morning at 12:30 Central U.S. time, which is still Wednesday, September 30 at 10:30 pm for Pacific-coasters.

I will post show notes for our first broadcast on our BlogTalkRadio.com page, and here is the web address:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/jaspermccutcheon

There will also be updates here, plus, I'm inviting a few pals to our pormo chat room which will be active during the broadcasts from our BlogTalkRadio page. Everything's free, all you need do is sign up with username and password.

We're going live thirty minutes per week. Please drop by and lend Jasper your ear while keeping your fingers ready for action.

Yours truly,

(for Jasper)

Jack McCutcheon